No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
