We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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