The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize