): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Randomize
