My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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