whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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