Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
These tits shall not be calmed
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
