Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
