I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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