what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
