You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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