I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.