just tell him i said nine months
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess