do you believe in love at first sight?
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
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It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
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I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..