Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.