1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day