I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works