Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.