I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
There r osticjed everywhere
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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