i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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