My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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