dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
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