The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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