Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
