Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize