idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
