Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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