and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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