Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
