dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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