Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
