i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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