I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Vodka?
Forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize