he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
