Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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