She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
