Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
