does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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