I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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