I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
