I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
