I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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