dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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