And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Randomize
