I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Randomize
