yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
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