I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I intend to get homeless drunk
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
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