new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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