GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
