At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
