if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
