he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize