belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
