She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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