This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
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all she had left on were here heels. phone five
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
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Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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