No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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