You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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