That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
