Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I deserve to be covered in dicks
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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