pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
