Your dad touched me again.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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