I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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