I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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