I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
