Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
We are all done wearing pants today
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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