oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
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I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
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What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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