yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Randomize
