Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
