I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
