Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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