lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
