i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Why can't burritos get me drunk
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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