we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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