Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize