This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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