Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
