Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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