Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
